True To Myself
by RosesandThorns666
Summary: AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!
1. No Fixing This One

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**A/N: **Thanks to my first reviewer I've decided to continue this. I don't know how many more chapters but hopefully no more than fifteen. Enjoy!

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter One: No Fixing This One**

High school parties always have some weird, crazy stuff going on, and Dean Winchester never thought he'd be involved in any weird, crazy stuff, other than the occasional fuck with a cheerleader (usually Cassie or Lisa) in a closet, spare room or bathroom.

At this party, _everyone _was invited, even the nerdy kids, who sat in their own small corner of the living room of Ruby Bradshaw's house. Ruby was rather inclusive, and threw parties for everyone, not just the popular people. Castiel Novak's beautiful blue eyes followed Dean Winchester as he stood talking with the jocks and other popular kids, girls drooling over him.

"Cas, just go and drag him into a closet, fuck his brains out and walk away satisfied." Chuck Shurley said with an exasperated sigh.

Castiel turned to his best friend and shot him a glare before shaking his head and returning to his vodka. He really did like Dean a lot. He didn't love him…he knew that (well didn't love him yet), but he knew that he wanted to try and be in a relationship with Dean, as much of a dickhead as the guy could be at times. They did talk, especially in class, but Dean wasn't that much of a close friend of Castiel's.

* * *

Dean gazed across the room and saw Castiel staring at him _again_! He was getting pretty fucking sick of the staring. If he wanted to stare, the guy had a fucking awesome camera phone so he could take a photo since they last longer. Eventually he grew tired of those beautiful blue eyes on him. _Beautiful? What? _

Marching straight over to the kid he grabbed him by the arm and dragged him through the back yard and into an alleyway behind the house, pinning Castiel up against the fence.

"Okay, Novak," he growled, "You're gonna stop the fucking staring because it's so annoying and I wanna rip your eyes out so you can't."

"I can't help it, Dean…" Castiel admitted, "I'm sorry if I find you attractive okay?"

"You find me what now?"

_Oops…_

Castiel gulped and turned bright red in the face, the blush covered by the darkness of the alleyway. He looked at Dean with near tearful eyes, opening his mouth to explain only for it to be covered by Dean's. Castiel kissed Dean back urgently, gasping when he felt Dean's hand unbuckling the belt of his jeans, unfastening the button and the zip before reaching inside and into Castiel's boxers, taking the kid in hand and actually stroking him at a ridiculous speed to orgasm with a rough, dry hand. Castiel felt the burn of Dean's rough skin against his dry length which was standing pretty much to attention and he winced, suddenly feeling terrified by what Dean was doing to him. Dean kissed him hard enough to bruise before pinning Castiel to the fence by his throat, leaning towards his ear as the younger boy came over his hand.

"You fucking attracted to me now?" Dean asked, pulling back and cleaning Castiel and his own hand with Castiel's boxers before fastening the kid back up.

Castiel stood with tear-filled eyes, full of fear and pain, not the adoration they were full of earlier…yeah they _were _full of adoration, right before Dean jerked Castiel off without the his permission. Dean realised he missed the adoration and the happiness that Castiel's eyes held when he was around. He did like the guy…he really did like Castiel, even thought about him when mini-Dean needed some attention, and that was the memory that made everything sink in.

Dean realised he felt more satisfied when he thought about Castiel, even during usual everyday events he felt better when he thought of Castiel. Damn he'd even daydreamed about him once or twice. His libido was hiding this other caring, loving Dean who wanted to be with Castiel, and then he realised he'd just violated the kid in a back alley at a high school party. Was it to put Castiel off? Was it to try and attract him even more? Was it because he was so fucking in love with the guy that when he found out Castiel liked him back, he panicked and couldn't believe it?

"Cas…" Dean began, his chest tightening as Castiel flinched at the sound of his own name, "Cas…I'm sorry…"

Dean had stopped pinning Castiel to the fence by this time and reached a hand up to cup Castiel's cheek. The younger boy flinched again and moved his head away.

"Castiel, please," Dean whispered, "I just didn't know how…I just…I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry!"

A very guilt-ridden, very ashamed, very panicky, very _in love_ Dean Winchester turned and bolted, leaving an even more ashamed and panicky Castiel crying his eyes out.

"Dean! Dean, come back!"

Dean wanted to stop and turn around, apologise to the kid again and just hold him so tight…but his legs wouldn't stop. He just couldn't go back. He kept running and didn't stop until he reached home, heading straight upstairs and getting into bed, and curling up under the sheets. He felt such a bastard. Plus he'd left poor Castiel in the cold night, alone, vulnerable and violated…yeah, he fucking violated him. Tears escaped his eyes as he rolled over onto his side.

There was absolutely no fixing this one.

* * *

Castiel sat alone in that alleyway, crying into his knees as he curled in on himself. Dean would never come back for him now. How would they face each other on Monday? What if someone had seen them? Would Dean ever look at him again?

It dawned on Castiel that he'd probably just lost the one person he knew he truly loved, and he wasn't going to get him back.

-TBC-


	2. Monday

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Two: Monday**

On the walk to school, Castiel was on edge to a ridiculous extent. He'd not only discovered that yes, he actually _was _in love with Dean, but he'd found out Dean at least liked him back, despite their rough sexual encounter at the back of a house.

"Dude, what the fuck happened at that party?" Chuck asked, "I mean, seriously, he dragged you outside and then you didn't show up for the rest of the night!"

"Nothing." Castiel snapped, "Nothing happened, Chuck."

Chuck wasn't an idiot. He just had this way of reading people and situations, sometimes able to predict what would happen next, which is how he earned the nickname _The Prophet Chuck_. He looked at Castiel who was blushing with embarrassment, but the look on his face suggested that clearly whatever had happened wasn't good.

"Whoa, dude…you're lying to me now?"

Castiel stopped and ran a hand over his face, looking guilty as a robber caught in red-handed.

"Cas…what did he do to you?" Chuck asked, "You've been really weird all weekend…"

"Promise me you won't judge me…" Castiel began, flushing with embarrassment.

Chuck nodded and watched Castiel's eyes as they filled with tears. For him to be near crying it must've been bad.

"I'd never judge you, Man…you know that."

Castiel nodded and took a deep breath.

"He found out I liked him, and he kissed me so I kissed him back," Castiel began, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "And then he unfastened my jeans and jerked me off before upping and leaving, apologising all the way of course but still…"

"Oh my God…" Chuck breathed, "Did you ask him to jerk you off?"

"No…" Castiel replied, blushing even more (if that was possible).

"Dude, he violated you!" Chuck hissed in an almost whisper, "Holy fuck!"

"Chuck, you can't tell anyone…please…" Castiel begged, "Look he was really shocked at himself…he'll want to apologise to my face, surely."

Chuck nodded. Yeah, Dean wasn't that much of a prick that he wouldn't apologise for seriously upsetting someone, but this was different. This was about saying, "Sorry I jerked you off without permission, please forgive me!" He'd better fucking apologise for something as serious as that.

"If you need anything, or you need to talk…" Chuck began, "You know you can come to me, right?"

"Yeah," Castiel replied, the blush now fading away, "Thanks, Chuck."

"No worries, Cas." Chuck replied, "I get why you didn't wanna come to school today now…"

* * *

Dean turned from his locker to see Castiel coming down the corridor. The guy looked like he was going to collapse through exhaustion.

_Oh God…what if he hasn't slept because of what happened on Friday? _

Castiel saw him and immediately he blushed. Grabbing a piece of paper from his bag, Dean wrote a message before walking past Castiel and slipping the note into his hand. Dean then headed down the corridor to his lesson.

Castiel shivered as Dean passed him before opening the note.

_My car, 3:15 sharp. Don't be late, Cas. We need to talk. _

Castiel sighed and kept the note in his hand before moving towards class.

* * *

3:15pm and Castiel was by Dean's car.

"Get in, Cas…please…" Dean begged, Castiel (quite understandably) a little nervous before reluctantly sliding into the passenger side, "I'm just gonna take us somewhere away from prying eyes and ears, okay?"

"Yes, Dean…" Castiel replied, his nerves settling a little as Dean started up the engine.

They pulled up in the back parking lot of an abandoned warehouse before Dean turned off the engine and put his head back against his seat. He turned to see Castiel with wide eyes, slowly moving back into the door.

"Cas, please…" Dean whispered, "I'm so sorry about Friday…"

"No, it's okay." Castiel replied, "Just didn't expect it."

"It's _not _okay, Cas." Dean protested, "I v…violated you, Castiel."

His eyes filled with tears as he looked away from Castiel and to the building before them.

"I just couldn't handle it that you felt something for me." Dean admitted, "I panicked and…I'm sorry…I want you to know that I have feelings for you too, but…"

"But you've got a reputation to uphold." Castiel finished.

"No, it's not that…I'm just…" Dean stuttered, "I'm just scared, okay?"

Castiel slid his hand into Dean's hesitantly, wrapping his fingers around the other boy's.

"Dean…if we feel something for each other then it's okay…"

Castiel felt for the guy. Dean was struggling to face up to his feelings which didn't really happen with Dean Winchester.

Dean turned to Castiel and gripped his hand tightly as he stared into the ocean blue eyes that held the adoration he knew and loved.

"So what are you saying?" Dean asked, "You want to try _something _with me?"

Castiel nodded and Dean thought for a moment. Could this work? It was worth a shot. Castiel was hot, really hot and he was so sweet and gentle. The guy couldn't hurt a fly, and Dean didn't want to take advantage of that, but he wanted Castiel so bad…so, so bad.

"I want to be with you, Dean…" Castiel whispered, breaking Dean's train of thought.

Dean moved closer to Castiel and went to cup his cheek.

"Dean…" Castiel whispered, "When we kissed on Friday…it was my first…"

Dean was shocked by that admission and caressed Castiel's cheek.

"Cas…I'm so sorry…" Dean replied, "That was the worst first experience ever…"

"Then make up for it now." Castiel said softly.

Dean looked deep into Castiel's eyes before taking his seatbelt off and reclining his seat, Castiel following suit. Moving into the back of the car, Dean and Castiel stared at one another before Dean cupped Castiel's cheek, leaning in for a sweet, tender kiss.

This was so much nicer than their first, and Castiel sighed into the kiss, his arms hesitantly wrapping around Dean who wound his arms around Castiel in return, holding him close as they kissed. Dean taught Castiel's inexperienced lips, realising this is who he wanted to be with. Castiel was the one person he felt complete with, even though he didn't know all that much about him. Breaking the kiss, a nervous but totally in love Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean's as they shared some pretty intense eye contact.

"I want to be with you too, Castiel."

-TBC-


	3. Heartbreak in Parking Lots

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Three: Heartbreak in Parking Lots**

Dean's dad was at work, and his little brother Sam was at his friend Jessica's, so Dean invited Castiel over for a couple of hours. They ended up doing some seriously hot making out on Dean's bed, Dean between Castiel's legs as they rocked their bodies together. Dean slid his hands into Castiel's and pinned them above his head, kissing Castiel's neck and biting it gently.

"Dean…" Castiel breathed, "Oh God…"

Dean smirked around Castiel's neck and ripped the younger boy's shirt off, causing Castiel to arch against him.

"Dean?" A voice called from downstairs.

"Shit…" Dean breathed, "It's Sam!"

Castiel grabbed his shirt, throwing it on before making for the bedroom window.

"Hey," Dean said, pulling him back and kissing him passionately, "Call me, okay?"

Castiel nodded, kissing Dean one more time before he climbed out of the window. Luckily for him, the Winchesters only had a one storey house so the drop wasn't that far, and as soon as he hit the floor he sprinted home. Getting up to his bedroom, he ran into his en-suite bathroom and locked the door. Mini-Cas needed some desperate attention after what Dean was doing with his hips.

* * *

The end of school came the following day and Dean couldn't hold back anymore. The bell rang out for the end of school and Dean headed out of the classroom, grabbing Castiel and spinning them into the male bathroom before pushing him into a stall and locking the door.

"Dean?" Castiel asked, his question unasked because there was a hungry mouth attached to his own.

Castiel moaned into the kiss and pressed against Dean, gasping when the older boy lowered his hand and began to cup Castiel's stiffening member. Breaking the kiss, Dean looked at Castiel with lustful eyes.

"Car?" He asked, earning a nod in response.

"Protection?" Castiel countered, earning an eager nod.

Grabbing Castiel's hand, Dean pulled his lover to the school parking lot, both of them looking as platonic as possible before driving off to the abandoned parking lot they shared their first real kiss in. Reclining their seats, the couple moved into the backseat, Dean's lips hungrily attacking Castiel's. Dean Winchester never thought he'd end up getting together with Castiel Novak. The guy wasn't exactly popular, and they didn't know all that much about one another.

Before either of them knew what was happening, they were naked and Dean was above Castiel.

"Look, I've never done it with a guy…" he began, "You're gonna have to bear with me."

Castiel nodded and licked his lips nervously as Dean covered his fingers with the lube before pushing one finger inside Castiel, working him open slowly. When he was satisfied that Castiel was prepared enough (after adding two more fingers), Dean put the condom on and put a bit of extra lube over his erection before pressing into Castiel.

The younger boy winced in pain. This hurt…the preparation didn't feel enough and the burn was constant, but Dean hushed him and kissed him tenderly before thrusting. Soon, the pain faded to nothing and pleasure took over, Castiel coming after about a minute, whereas Dean pulled out and finished himself off before discarding the condom in a small paper bag and cleaning them off, pulling up the rug he kept in the car and covering the over with it. He looked at Castiel with tired eyes before wrapping his arm around the younger boy and pulling him closer.

"Wow…" Castiel breathed as he rested against Dean's chest (kinda feeling like a girl right now).

"I know." Dean replied, "Thanks for that. It was great."

Castiel was a little taken back by the words and he kissed Dean's cheek.

"Right, we'd better get home." Dean said, getting dressed before leaving Castiel to dress in the backseat sit upfront, both of them bringing their seats back up and buckling up.

* * *

Castiel had been humiliated and angry the entire drive. 'Thanks for that. It was great.' What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Is this whole thing casual? Does Dean feel something for me or have I been used for a fuck and that's it? Pulling up outside Castiel's, Dean kissed him goodbye.

"When are you gonna call me?"

Castiel laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"I'm not." He answered sharply before climbing out of the car.

"What?" Dean asked with wide eyes.

"I'm not calling you again."

Dean was horrified.

"Why?" He asked, "What did I do?"

"_Thanks for that. It was great._" Castiel quoted, "Am I just here for a quick fuck now and again before you go back to your slutty cheerleaders, or was I here just for your entertainment?"

What broke Dean's heart was how upset the guy looked. Those sweet, beautiful blue eyes were bloodshot and tearful and completely untrusting now.

"I didn't mean it that way, Cas…" Dean said softly, "I really didn't…"

"Save it, Dean." Castiel barked, "We're done…"

"Cas, don't do this…" Dean protested.

"No! Fuck you, we're done!" Castiel snapped, "Don't call me, and don't talk to me."

"Cas!" Dean called as the younger boy turned around.

"I'm not your whore!" Castiel growled, "I'm not your bitch, and I'm not your sex toy."

With that, Castiel ran into his house, tears cascading down his face.

Dean was stunned at the fact that they'd been together for a few weeks and it had all ended like that, over something he'd done. His fault again.

_Fuck! Why did I have to treat it like it was just a one night stand…oh my God I took his virginity too! Winchester, why are you such a bastard? _

* * *

Castiel gazed at the wall, thinking about what had happened that afternoon. He'd lost his virginity and his lover all in one go today. Had he been too harsh dumping Dean over that? No, Dean had treated him like he was just there for Dean's pleasure and Dean's alone. But Dean does do and say things he doesn't mean…Fuck, he'd better get some sleep and think about this over the weekend.

-TBC-


	4. Talk it Out

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Four: Talk it Out**

Chuck pulled Castiel in for a hug as he sat in tears on his bed.

"I can't believe it." Chuck breathed, "Well…actually I can, it _is_ Dean Winchester after all."

"I don't even know if dumping him was the right thing to do…I just felt so…" Castiel said, trailing off as Chuck released him.

"Used?" Chuck suggested.

Castiel nodded in response and wiped his eyes.

"God, I'm even crying over him…what's wrong with me?"

Chuck laughed and shook his head, patting Castiel's back.

"Nothing, dude. You're probably just pining for him."

Castiel groaned with despair and collapsed into his pillows, punching the mattress lightly and kicking his legs like a spoilt child. It made both of them laugh and that was better than being depressed and angry.

"Why?" Castiel asked, looking to the ceiling and throwing his arms up, "Why me?"

Chuck smiled and patted Castiel's shoulder.

"Come on, Cas. We need to get you out of the house." He said, dragging Castiel out of the room by the arm.

* * *

Dean sat on a bench in the park, thinking about Castiel. Was it even worth trying to get him back? He said that they were done…but that isn't always true. Maybe they weren't done; maybe they could still make this work. Dean would have to prove to Castiel that he did want to have a real relationship with him. Dean Winchester didn't do relationships that lasted more than a couple of weeks, but with Castiel it was different. He just wanted to be with Castiel all the time, but Castiel got the idea that Dean wasn't into long term relationships. Much to Dean's surprise, Castiel came through the park with Chuck by his side, looking tired, but kinda happy. That hurt a little. He shouldn't be happy; he should be pining for Dean!

Dean stood and moved towards Castiel who stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing Chuck's arm to stop the smaller boy smacking Dean in the face.

"Cas, I wanna talk to you."

Castiel turned to Chuck and nodded. Chuck glared at Dean before heading to sit where Dean had just been.

"What's his problem?" Dean asked, earning a scowl from Castiel.

"He doesn't like you." Castiel answered, "Especially after we've broken up."

"Yeah, about that…" Dean began, noticing Chuck glaring at him from the bench.

He took Castiel's arm and pulled him into a tight cluster of trees.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I never meant for it to sound like a cheap fuck…and I know it was your first time too. I'm sorry, it must've sucked." Dean said, "Sorry for taking your virginity in a car…We should've waited until there was a comfortable bed and nice atmosphere rather than a quick fuck in a backseat…"

As Dean started rambling, Castiel pulled him close and crushed their lips together. Dean grimaced into the kiss and moaned softly before Castiel broke it, their lips barely apart as they breathed into each other's open mouths.

"We gonna try again?" Castiel asked, "Do it properly this time…take the time to make it last?"

Dean bit his lip and nodded as they pressed their foreheads together.

"I care about you, Dean." Castiel whispered, kissing Dean tenderly before squeezing his hand tightly, "Call me later?"

Dean nodded and kissed Castiel again before Castiel headed back to see Chuck.

Chuck looked up as Castiel strode over looking confident, happy and fulfilled.

"You've got back together haven't you…" He said, smiling when Castiel beamed and bit his lip, nodding before blushing as they headed onward on their walk.

* * *

Two months later, Dean and Castiel were together and loving every minute of it. Their families were happy for them both and supported them through the tough times. They'd left school now, and Castiel was getting ready to go to college. He wasn't sure that Law was the best thing for him. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to go to college but his brothers were insistent.

Castiel's cell phone began to ring at 11:36pm, and he picked up to hear Dean's husky voice on the end of the line.

"_Open your curtains, Cas." _

Castiel chuckled and opened the curtains to find Dean perched outside his window, smiling cheekily at him. Castiel opened the window and pulled Dean inside, chuckling and kissing his boyfriend before they collapsed on the bed in a tangle of limbs.

"What are you doing here, Dean?" Castiel whispered, giggling as Dean scrambled under the sheets.

"Come on, Cas…gimme a kiss!" Dean replied, laughing as Castiel pulled the covers off of him.

"What are you here for?" Castiel asked, suddenly feeling the need to cuddle close to Dean.

"Wanted to ask you something." Dean answered simply.

"What?" Castiel asked, sitting up.

"My dad's bought me an apartment further into the city, and I'm working at a mechanic's nearby instead of going to college…since I didn't get in, but I know you're going to the local college and it's about twenty minutes drive away from my apartment so…"

"What are you asking me, Dean?"

"I'm asking you if you wanna move in with me while you're at college…" Dean replied, knowing he was probably going to get a smack or something.

"Dean, we've been dating for two months…" Castiel began.

"I know but I'm thinking it'll be easier for you and your family. You won't have to pay for the accommodation there and I'll be providing money to live on…" Dean explained, taking Castiel's hand in his own, "I really care about you, Cas, I just want you to have an easy time while you're at college. You know, you won't have to travel too far, I'll be home to make you your dinner every night."

Castiel smiled and looked to his lap.

"We'll be able to sleep together every night in the same bed." Dean continued, "We can do what we want instead of following other people's rules…just you and me, Cas."

Castiel looked back into Dean's eyes and kissed him passionately.

"Can I think about it?" Castiel asked, "I don't start college until September, so…"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Dean replied, "I didn't expect an answer, I just wanted to ask you in person that's all."

Castiel smiled and pulled Dean closer to him, hugging him tight before kissing those full lips of his.

"Thank you." He whispered, kissing Dean again before snuggling up to him again.

"I'd better go," Dean whispered, "I told my dad I was heading out for a drive and I wouldn't be more than a half hour…"

The pair climbed off the bed, sharing passionate kisses before Dean reached the window.

"I'll see you tomorrow, huh?" Dean asked, earning a nod before Castiel kissed him again.

"Yeah. See you, Babe." Castiel replied sharing another kiss with Dean who started kissing him a lot more, "Dean, you have to go."

"I know…I just can't help myself." Dean retorted, chuckling before kissing Castiel once more, "I don't wanna go."

"Then stay…my brothers are all at their girlfriend's places…" Castiel whispered, "Call your dad and tell him you're staying the night, he won't mind."

Dean nodded, climbing back through the window before he called his dad, while Castiel climbed into bed and rested back against the pillows.

* * *

In the soft light of the bedroom, Dean held Castiel close to him as they linked their fingers loosely whilst sharing soft kisses and touches as they lay almost naked under the sheets. Breaking their kissing, Castiel curled up closer to Dean and looked deep into his eyes, resting a slender hand on the nape of his neck.

"You make me so happy, Dean." He whispered, "Never thought I'd be as happy with anyone."

Dean smiled at Castiel as he leaned down to kiss him again.

"Me neither." Dean replied, "You do things to me that no-one else could ever do, Cas. I don't know what it is, but I feel like…"

When he trailed off Castiel lowered his hand and ran it down Dean's back before moving it back up to card through his hair at the back of his head.

"I love you." Dean finished, "And if you don't love me back I get it, but I have for a while…"

"Dean…" Castiel went to interrupt.

"No, just let me get this off my chest, Cas…" Dean pleaded, "I know I pretty much ignored you out of school and damn I feel a bastard for it, but when were together in class and stuff I used to just not be able to take my eyes off you…I love you, Cas…"

Castiel smiled at Dean and kissed him lovingly before leaning towards his ear to whisper.

"I love you too, Dean."

Pulling back, the pair of them smiled at each other, giggling before sharing gentle kisses and tender gazes. Dean lay beside Castiel and smiled as the younger boy curled up into his side, resting that beautiful head on his chest before turning his light out.

-TBC-


	5. Growing Up

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Five: Growing Up**

Dean awoke with Castiel wrapped in his embrace. They'd made love several times during the night and Dean smiled at the wonderful memories from the night before.

_Castiel rode Dean almost expertly as they made sensual love together, Dean sitting up to wrap his arms around Castiel's body, holding his boyfriend close to him as they consummated their love. The younger boy moaned Dean's name and Dean shivered, gripping Castiel tightly to him. _

He felt Castiel stirring in his arms and he smiled as the younger boy snuggled into his arms, sighing and finally opening his eyes.

"Good morning," He whispered, stroking Dean's cheek.

"Morning, Cas." Dean replied, bringing Castiel closer to kiss him tenderly as they basked in each other's presence.

"Last night was…" Castiel began, unable to find the right word.

"Phenomenal." Dean answered.

"Totally." Castiel agreed, sitting up out of Dean's embrace and stretching, his slender fingers curling and uncurling into fists.

He was so damn beautiful. Dean couldn't take his eyes away, and this was a sight Dean would happily see every morning.

* * *

The doorbell rang at Dean's house just after he'd taken a shower, and just as he was about to rush to answer it, his mother's voice drifted through the house.

"Hi, Cas!" She said happily, hugging Castiel who stood at the door, "Dean's just taking a shower if you want to wait in his room."

"Thanks, Mary." Castiel said with a smile before heading along the corridor to Dean's room.

He gasped when a hand grabbed his arm and pulled him into Dean's room. Lips pressed against his and a soft moan was heard in the kiss as one of the hands locked the door.

"We're gonna do this?" The voice asked as its owner broke the kiss.

"Hello to you too, Dean." Castiel said warmly with a chuckle, "And yes, we are…"

Dean grinned and held Castiel close to him, pressing himself to the younger boy and kissing him feverishly.

"When do you wanna move?" Dean asked, "When do you want to do this?"

"I want to get settled in first," Castiel said, "I start college in two months…"

"So, maybe in a couple of weeks?"

Castiel nodded and Dean grinned, kissing him again, Castiel's arms wrapping around his bare torso.

* * *

Castiel moaned as Dean took him in his mouth, his lover using his wonderful abilities with his mouth to seduce Castiel in ways the younger boy never believed possible.

"Oh…Oh, D-Dean…"

Dean chuckled around the mouthful sending a vibration right through Castiel's body. Pulling off Dean grinned at Castiel.

"Come undone for me, Baby."

Going back down on Castiel, Dean felt his lover arch of the bed, unleashing his breath in harsh pants. He grimaced and bit his lip as Dean's tongue swirled around the head before his pulled off and kissed Castiel's lips. Tasting himself just made Castiel moan even more and he pulled Dean closer to him.

"Make love with me."

Dean grinned and kissed Castiel more gently this time, pressing the younger boy into the mattress as he grabbed the lube and a condom. After working Castiel open and preparing his erection, Dean pushed into his lover who gasped at the pain.

"Shhh," Dean whispered, "I've got you, Castiel."

He waited for Castiel to settle around his length before thrusting slowly. Castiel smiled and moaned softly, trying to keep quiet because he and Dean weren't the only ones in the house. As Dean moved, Castiel began to move his hips in return, and then flipped them over so he was on top. He rocked his hips, taking Dean's hands and pulling him up so the couple were sat up, Dean's strong arms wrapped around him as they made love. Castiel buried his face in Dean's neck, kissing the older boy's pulse point as they rocked together.

"Mmm…" Dean hummed, "Love you, Cas."

"Love you, Dean." Castiel replied, coming silently in between them, soon being followed by Dean who let out a soft moan.

They slowed and then stilled, basking in each other's love before Dean gently turned them over and they lay on the mattress, kissing and caressing one another's bodies that were glistening with sweat. Pressing their foreheads together, the young lovers sighed and kissed again.

"I don't want to move." Dean whispered, "I don't wanna let you go."

"Then don't." Castiel whispered back as Dean pulled out of him, "Stay like this with me."

Dean kept his arms around Castiel before shuffling to the side of him, caressing his cheek tenderly.

"I mean it, Castiel…I love you." He whispered, kissing those full lips gently.

"I love you too, Dean." Castiel whispered, "So much."

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel yet again, those blue eyes so strikingly beautiful his breath caught. The blue eyes he knew and loved suddenly became full of tears and Dean sat up, cupping Castiel's cheek.

"Hey, what's the matter, Sweetheart?" Dean asked, wiping one of the tears that fell down Castiel's cheek.

"I just…I don't wanna lose you, Dean." Castiel whispered, "I love you so much it hurts…but I love it hurting, because I know it's real."

Dean sighed and kissed Castiel's lips, nuzzling against his forehead and kissing his nose before curling up with him and covering them with the bed sheets. Dean just couldn't wait for them to move in together, despite the tiny doubts that were ringing out through his head.

Should they talk about any issues with moving in together or any doubts they had? If they truly loved each other they could work it out…right?

-TBC-


	6. Settling In

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Six: Settling In**

Dean had no worries now. The night after Castiel had agreed to move in with Dean, they'd sat down and talked, and every concern was laid out and then resolved. Yes, Castiel really did love Dean and moved in with him two weeks later. That first night they made sensual love to christen their bed and celebrated the start of a new life together. In the afterglow of their love making, Dean held Castiel close to him.

"I fucking love you."

Castiel chuckled and bit his lip.

"And I love you, Dean."

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's mop of hair, stroking soothing lines down Castiel's upper arm with his thumb.

"It's just us now, Cas…" Dean breathed, "The rest of the world can go fuck itself if it won't accept us. We'll always have each other, and our families."

"We will." Castiel replied, snuggling into Dean's hold.

Looking up, Castiel captured Dean's lips in a soft kiss before rolling off of Dean to turn the bedside light off. Dean did the same and moved behind Castiel, wrapping a strong arm around his lover's waist as he nuzzled the nape of his neck.

"Night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

* * *

The next morning, Castiel awoke alone. Next to him on the bed was a note.

_Sorry, Sweetheart, _

_I got called into work early. I'll see you tonight. Love you so much! _

_xxx Dean xxx_

Castiel chuckled and kissed the note before going to get dressed.

Heading out of the bedroom, Castiel went to get himself some breakfast, realising suddenly how much he missed Dean. He still had six weeks before he started college, and so he decided to relax a little.

* * *

Dean meanwhile was miserable. He hated not being with Castiel, but when he was working on a car that needed so many repairs he may as well have just rebuilt the thing. When his boss, Bobby Singer gave him a break, the first thing he did was call Castiel.

"_Hello?" _That familiar voice answered.

"Hey, Baby…" Dean said with a weak smile.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line.

"_Dean…" _

Dean could practically feel the smile that Castiel had when he knew it was Dean.

"You okay?" Dean asked, taking a sip of the coffee Bobby had just made for him.

_"Yeah, are you?" _Castiel countered, the sound of his voice soothing to Dean's ears.

"Yeah, I'm good. Miss you like crazy." Dean admitted, feeling himself blush a little.

_"Miss you too." _Castiel said softly,_ "What would you like for dinner?"_

"Let's get a take-out, huh?" Dean suggested, "Save us cooking on our second night of living there."

"_That's great."_ Castiel answered with a chuckle,_ "Oh, I have to go, someone's at the door." _

"Alright. Talk to you later…I love you." Dean whispered.

_"Love you too, Dean." _Castiel replied before hanging up.

That one phone call was able to get Dean through the rest of his day.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Dean called, making Castiel chuckle as he entered the main area of the apartment.

"Hey, Dean." Castiel said with a smile, walking towards Dean and wrapping his arms around him.

Dean kissed Castiel lovingly before shrugging his jacket off, walking Castiel towards the sofa and laying him down on it. Castiel smiled into the kisses and caressed Dean's cheeks, cradling his beautiful face in his gentle hands.

"I love you, Dean Winchester."

"I love you too, Castiel Novak."

With that, Dean pressed his lips to Castiel's again, moving them languidly and lovingly before breaking away.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Dean whispered, kissing Castiel one more time before climbing from the sofa and moving towards the bathroom.

Castiel watched him leave and smiled to himself before resting back against the sofa. He was grinning like a big girl and he didn't care.

If this is what living together was like when you were as in love as he and Dean were, he could easily get used to it.

-TBC-


	7. An Unexpected Surprise

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? Oneshot. PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Seven: An Unexpected Surprise**

Castiel started college and he was getting along great, apart from the fact he hated the damn Law course. He hated it, loathed it, despised but he was doing this for his brothers. Although he shouldn't have to do this for his brothers. He should just do as he pleased. He didn't want a powerful, high paid job. He wanted to help other people, and he wanted to be with Dean. He loved his family but this isn't what he wanted. Gabriel (the second youngest Novak) had tried to argue Castiel's point but Zachariah (the third oldest Novak) wasn't having any of it. Neither was Michael (the oldest) or Raphael (the fourth oldest), but Lucifer (the second oldest) was happy for Castiel to do as he pleased.

His first assignment was due in a week, and Castiel had almost completed it. As he completed it, he printed it off in the college library and placed it in his folder before heading home. He and Dean had been together for almost six months, and Castiel was going to make Dean an anniversary dinner this weekend. But walking through the apartment door, Castiel got the shock of his life. Dean was on the sofa, making out with a girl. It was bad enough that Dean was making out with someone else, but when Dean had told Castiel he was certain he was gay, and now he was making out with a girl, that just pissed Castiel off so much. The couple were completely oblivious to him, and he slammed his folder down on the kitchen table, causing them both to jump up.

"Cas…" Dean breathed, seeing the betrayal and hurt in Castiel's eyes, "Cas…I…"

"Dean?" The blonde asked, looking from Castiel to Dean and back again.

She knew exactly what the issue was, and she climbed off of Dean before leaving quickly and awkwardly.

"Who the _fuck _was that?" Castiel asked, gripping the back of one of the dining chairs so hard it was leaving red marks on his hands.

He was hurting so much right now he could just curl up and die. Dean made his way towards his lover until they were inches apart.

"Cas…I'm sorry…" Dean began, Castiel immediately noticing the slur in his words, "I just had a moment of weakness…"

"A moment of weakness?" Castiel asked, "Dean! You have me! I thought you loved me!"

"I do, Cas…I do!" Dean cried, "I fucking love you, Cas…"

Dean broke into sobs, and collapsed to his knees, running shaking hands through his hair.

"You're drunk, Dean." Castiel said, "And you've betrayed me. You've hurt me and…we're done."

"Don't leave me!" Dean begged, grabbing Castiel's hand, "You can't leave me! Not now!"

There was something in Dean's eyes that terrified Castiel. Dean was scared and vulnerable, almost childlike, and Castiel knelt down in front of him before talking to him, noticing the tears sparkling in those warm green eyes.

"Dean, what's going on?" He asked, unable to do anything but cup Dean's cheek when the older boy looked away from him with terrified eyes, breathing uneven and ragged.

"My dad…" Dean began, "He's got cancer…"

Castiel grimaced and tears filled his own eyes.

"You just weren't here…and I needed comfort so bad…" Dean whispered, "I know it's not an excuse, but I just needed it…I'm so sorry, Cas."

Castiel couldn't help it, he couldn't. He caved and hugged Dean close to his body, pressing soothing kisses to Dean's temple.

"I've got you, Dean." He whispered, "It's okay."

"Sorry, Cas…" Dean sobbed "I'm sorry…don't leave me! Please don't leave me!"

"I'm going nowhere." Castiel whispered, keeping Dean close to him, "I'm not leaving you, I promise."

* * *

Dean lay on his side that night, crying into his pillow while Castiel rolled onto his side too, wrapping an arm around Dean's waist before leaning over and kissing his cheek. Stroking Dean's face with gentle fingers, Castiel shushed him and rolled him over, pulling him close to his body before running soothing fingers through his hair.

"I love you." Dean whispered, clinging to Castiel with all his strength.

"Love you too, Baby." Castiel whispered back, "I love you so much."

"I'm sorry for cheating, Castiel." Dean breathed, moving further into Castiel's arms.

"Shhh…no talking now." Castiel said softly, "Try and sleep, Dean."

Dean did as Castiel asked and settled down to sleep.

-TBC-


	8. Getting By

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Eight: Getting By**

Dean was struggling to come to terms with his father's illness, still broken about it two years down the line. That went without saying, and Castiel was left to pick up the pieces if Dean suddenly broke down or had a violent outburst, which were _never _directed at Castiel. He'd normally just kick the furniture or something before collapsing into sobs. Castiel quit his course because it was driving him insane (much to the disgust of his brothers) but he got a job in a nearby bar called _Tessa's_. It was a nice place, and the people were friendly. The girls never believed Castiel was gay. A lot of them would hit on him and on most occasions, Dean would walk through the door, Castiel would beckon him to the bar and introduce him to whoever was hitting on him. When it came to guys hitting on him, Castiel would just tell them he was seeing a girl. But John's cancer was being treated, and the hospital said he was doing brilliantly. Dean had little faith in the doctors but soon began to pray for his father.

They were twenty-one now, living comfortably and for the most part stably. Castiel was Dean's rock through John's illness, and Dean had never been as grateful. One night in July, when John had just had more treatment, Dean was so distraught about seeing his dad in that condition that he didn't sleep. Castiel looked at the clock and saw it was 3:12am.

"Baby, you need to sleep." He whispered, "I know this is hard for you but please, Dean."

Dean rolled over and curled up into Castiel's embrace, feeling so damn vulnerable he just wanted to die. He'd take the cancer for his dad any day of the week, and everybody knew that all too well.

"I don't wanna lose him, Cas."

"You won't, Sweetheart." Castiel assured him, kissing his forehead, "God will answer your prayers, Dean."

"Screw God. God's a fuck-up who lets all the bad stuff happen to the good people in the world, while the assholes and bitches get away with the best." Dean growled, climbing off of the bed, "I can't take this in anymore."

"Dean…" Castiel began, "What are you doing?"

"I just need to get outta here, Cas…" Dean said, getting dressed and grabbing a jacket, "I need to get away from it."

"Dean, come back to bed," Castiel pleaded as he reached out to touch Dean's arm, "Come on."

Dean swatted his hand away, but Castiel reached back for him.

"No, Cas!" Dean spat, pushing Castiel away before heading out of the bedroom.

Castiel was in hot pursuit. There was no way Dean was going out in this state.

"Dean, please!"

Dean didn't know what came over him…he just snapped, spinning around and punching Castiel hard in the jaw before kicking him in the stomach and bolting out of the door. Castiel winced from the pain and sat up, suddenly tasting blood on his lips. Dean had split his lip and maybe even kicked him hard enough to bruise his stomach.

"Shit…" Castiel breathed, rushing back into the bedroom and throwing some jeans and shoes on before leaving the apartment, locking the door and racing after Dean.

Castiel reached the entrance to the building and couldn't see Dean anywhere so he ran into the pouring rain outside. Dean hadn't taken the car, so Castiel rushed back upstairs and grabbed the keys, heading back down and getting in the car. He drove around for two hours before he suddenly realised where Dean would be.

He pulled up into the parking lot of the abandoned warehouse where they shared their first true kiss, and there Dean was, curled up on the ground in the downpour, his shoulders shaking visibly from where Castiel was. If he was crying, he was crying damn hard. Castiel drove a bit further forward before climbing out of the car and rushing to Dean's side, lifting him from the dusty concrete ground and into his embrace. He knelt by his lover, cradling him in the downpour.

"Come on, Dean." He said, pulling Dean to his feet and helping him towards the car.

They climbed inside and Castiel held Dean tightly to him, rocking him back and forth in his arms. Dean just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Hot tears fell down his face as he suddenly kissed Castiel.

"I'm sorry for hitting you, Baby…I should never have hit you." He rambled, sighing when Castiel ran soothing fingers through his hair.

"No…no, shhh, stop talking, Dean." Castiel whispered, "It's alright, I know you won't hit me again…"

"I shouldn't have hit you once!" Dean breathed, "I'm so, so sorry…I've been such a bastard lately. I know my dad's ill but I shouldn't take it out on you."

"Hush, Dean. You're going through so much right now, it's okay." Castiel said softly, pressing kiss after kiss to Dean's temple, "It's all okay."

The lovers held each other in the car for a little longer before they climbed into the front and drove home, Dean's hand in Castiel's for the entire journey (apart from when Castiel needed the other hand of course).

_**

* * *

Two months later**_

"CAS!" Dean cried, looking around their home for his lover, "CAS!"

"Dean, is everything alright?" Castiel asked, rushing out of the bedroom to see what was wrong with his boyfriend.

"My dad…he's…" Dean began, unable to hold back the tears, "They can't find any signs of the cancer…it's gone, Cas! It's gone!"

Castiel smiled and hugged Dean so tight the older man thought he'd burst.

"God answered me, Castiel…"

"I know He did, Dean. I know He did."

-TBC-


	9. Real Love

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**

* * *

True to Myself**

**Chapter Nine: Real Love  
**

Dean lay on his back, his head turned towards the TV as _Dr. Sexy MD_'s title sequence played. Castiel lay also on his back, between Dean's parted legs so he rested on his chest with the older man's arms securely around him. Dean was so much happier and healthier after they'd found out John's cancer had gone, and his sense of humour was back too. The sex was a lot more tender, and at times a lot more fun, but now they were closer than they'd ever been. Castiel reached for his beer and passed Dean his at the same time. As the show went on, Castiel felt something pressing in his back, and he knew damn well that Dean was getting turned on by Dr. Sexy. He made Dean jump when he turned and straddled Dean's waist before turning the TV off.

"Am I not good enough for you, Dean?" He asked playfully, kissing Dean passionately on the lips, "Or is Dr. Sexy the one you really want?"

"Screw Dr. Sexy!" Dean breathed, his heart pounding at his close proximity with Castiel, "No-one, not even Dr. Sexy could hold a candle to you, Castiel."

The younger man bit his lip and nodded, kissing Dean again and climbing off of him. He ran to the front door and locked it, turning out the apartment lights before locking his fingers with Dean's, pulling the older man towards their bedroom. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and kissed him passionately as he walked him backwards into the room, closing the door behind them.

* * *

Castiel was trembling, flushed, sweating and moaning as Dean continued to thrust languidly into him. The younger man's hips rocked back against Dean's, his lover starting to shiver himself as he thrusted into Castiel. Dean growled in Castiel's ear and bit the lobe gently, earning a soft moan from Castiel who bit his lip and grimaced, his eyes tightly shut as he approached bliss. Dean's lips found Castiel's but soon they both tensed and came in sync, their top lips touching as they breathed heavily into one another's open mouths. Finally they shared a kiss and relaxed in each other's arms, Castiel's hands caressing Dean's body before resting at the back of his lover's head and in between his shoulder blades.

"I love you so much." Dean said softly, kissing Castiel's lips and stroking a hand through that mop of hair, "And I know I don't always show it, and I haven't, especially when my dad's been ill…and I'm sorry for that."

Castiel hushed Dean and kissed his lips gently.

"Don't be sorry. You were going through a tough time, Sweetheart. I love you too." Castiel replied, "I just want you to be happy, Dean."

Dean smiled and pulled out of Castiel before covering them with the sheets. Castiel rolled over and snuggled into Dean's side, kissing his chest and tracing lazy patterns over the top.

* * *

"So, what time do you finish?"

Castiel was being hit on _again_ by a young woman called Libby, who was the most beautiful brunette Castiel had ever laid eyes on.

"'Cause I was thinking maybe you, me and a bed could have a fun meeting."

Castiel grinned and shook his head as he cleaned some of the glasses the last customers just left behind.

"Actually, I…"

Right on cue, Dean walked in and Castiel smiled.

"I'm taken and my partner's just walked in." He told Libby, "You wanna say hi?"

Libby grinned and nodded, turning to see Dean and Castiel share a quick kiss over the bar.

"Libby, this is Dean." Castiel said, Dean turning and smiling at Libby.

"Another friend, Cas?" Dean asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, another friend." Castiel replied, "Dean, this is Libby."

Dean winked at Libby which made Castiel flinch a little.

"The usual, Babe?" Castiel asked, earning a nod from Dean as he sat at the bar.

Castiel poured Dean a beer before passing it to his lover.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean said softly, passing Castiel the money over the bar.

As Castiel completed the transaction he kept an eye on Dean and Libby. After he'd caught Dean with a blonde in his lap two and a half years earlier, Castiel had been a little wary when it came to Dean and other women. They seemed just to be talking happily, well, until Libby whispered something in Dean's ear. Castiel heard Dean's next words and smiled to himself.

"Listen, Sweetheart, you're a nice girl but I love Castiel. I'm not hurting him to sleep with you, because I get plenty at home with him."

"Whoa," she breathed, "Too much information."

"Well, you gave me too much info, Lib." Dean replied, "And, by the way, quick fucks in back alleys ain't my style."

Castiel turned back to see Libby leaving the bar. He looked at Dean who winked at him, chuckling as he raised his eyebrow.

"I love you so much." Castiel said softly with a beautiful smile.

"Love you too, Cas." Dean whispered, finishing his beer before checking the clock.

"Castiel!" Tessa called, "You can take off now, Honey."

"Thanks, Tessa." Castiel replied before turning to Dean, "I'll just grab my jacket."

Dean grinned to himself and thought about how great life was with Castiel. They went to bed together, woke up together, saw each other after work, and they'd settled down in their own home. His mind trailed to other things, such as marriage and kids. He always wanted to have a family, and maybe Castiel was just the person to have it with.

-TBC-


	10. Saturday Morning

**Summary: **AU. Dean and Castiel's feelings erupt to the surface at a high school party. Will Dean accept his sexuality or will he keep hiding from it? PLEASE REVIEW!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Supernatural _or its characters.

**A/N: **OMG! I haven't updated this since September? OMG I'm so sorry! *Offers cookies out to all* I just got writer's block and forgot about it! HERE'S CHAPTER TEN! Please enjoy and please forgive me!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

**True to Myself**

**Chapter Ten: Saturday Morning  
**

Castiel's eyes blinked open as he met Dean's sparkling green ones, warmth filling his system at the thought of waking up next to this beautiful man. He smiled and shared a small kiss with Dean before sitting up slowly, stretching slightly as he did. This was the perfect way for the two to wake up, both close to each other and happy to see each other.

"Morning, sweetheart." Dean said softly, pinning Castiel back down.

"Morning, Dean." Castiel chuckled as he struggled against Dean's hold, "What are you doing?"

"We're not working today, remember…so let's have a morning in bed." Dean said with a chuckle, kissing Castiel's lips, neck and chest.

"Mmm…sounds perfect." Castiel sighed, "Just like that, Dean…"

Dean pulled away and took Castiel's hand, the younger man whimpering at the loss of contact of Dean's beautiful lips against his flesh.

"Come on, let's take a shower." Dean suggested, Castiel beaming in response, "I want you wet, steamy and sexy."

Castiel blushed and grinned at Dean, hiding his face a little which always made Dean melt. Castiel was the cutest guy ever, it had to be said, and Dean only wished he'd gotten together with him sooner.

"You embarrass me, Dean."

Dean found the gesture goddamn adorable and he smiled back, pulling Castiel towards the bathroom where he had plans to make the younger man feel absolutely incredible. He'd do it by any means and the grin on his face told Castiel that he had a trick up his sleeve.

"Come on, beautiful."

* * *

As far as Dean remembered, Castiel wasn't a screamer. He didn't scream, yet here he was, so loud that Dean had no doubt people in the next building could hear them.

"God, Dean!" He cried as he and his boyfriend made love in the shower, Dean on his knees with Castiel in his lap, "Yes! Yes! Oh, God, yes!"

"Come on, babe..." Dean whispered, "Come for me..."

And good God, did Castiel come for him. He held the younger man through his high, rocking until his own passed over him. The two settled, kissing gently and lovingly under the hot spray of the shower as they cleaned one another.

"How I love you." Castiel whispered, "Never thought I'd be here with you."

"Neither did I." Dean said softly, "But if I hadn't been, I wouldn't be anywhere near as happy as I am now."

"Nor would I..." Castiel replied, sharing a gentle kiss with Dean before lifting himself from his lover's body, climbing out of the shower and wrapping himself him a towel, Dean turning off the water and wrapping himself in a towel as he stood by his lover.

"Cas...?" He began, Castiel looking up to find him almost dressed already, "Love you."

"Love you too."

Dean smiled, kissing his lover before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. He decided that today would be a day for pancakes, so he got busy making them as he flipped on the radio at the same time. As the sounds of Bruce Springsteen filled the apartment, Dean smiled happily to himself, looking up as Castiel emerged with a lazy grin on his face.

"Hey, baby." He whispered, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Castiel replied, sitting on the couch and turning on the TV, "Wonderful...Fucked out."

"I'm not surprised." Dean laughed, "I'm not surprised at all."

"Dean?" Castiel said softly as he watched the news, "Why do so many bad things happen in the world?"

Dean paused for a minute, turning to Castiel as he served up the pancakes. He wondered what notion was going through Castiel's mind and he approached him, sitting by him on the sofa. He stroked Castiel's hair and pressed his lips to his temple, feeling how tense his lover was as he stared at the screen.

"What's going through that pretty little head now, Cas?" Dean asked, "Hmm? What are you worrying about?"

"Why so many bad things happen in the world." Castiel said again, Dean sighing and kissing him softly.

"Bad things happen to balance out the good things." He whispered, "I know a lot of bad things happen, but unfortunately there are a lot of bad people in the world. But don't forget that there are plenty of good people too. We're fortunate enough to know a lot of them."

Castiel smiled and hugged Dean gently, taking his hand and leading him to the table. They sat down to their pancakes, and they held hands the whole time through their meal. Saturday was their favourite day. They didn't have work that day or the day after, and they would normally spend their Saturdays being as productive as possible before doing something nice together on Sunday.

"I need to go to the mall today." Castiel said softly, "And we need groceries."

"Okay." Dean replied, "Why the mall?"

"For Chuck's birthday gift." Castiel said, swallowing a piece of pancake, "I'm planning on getting him something a little..."

"Nerdy."

"Exactly."

The pair laughed and shared a sweet kiss before Dean began to gaze deeply into Castiel's stunning blue eyes. Those eyes were what got him to the end of every day, and knowing he'd be able to look into them was enough to make his day brighter. The shade of them was incredibly unique and one that Dean would never ever forget.

"I love you, y'know that?" He whispered, Castiel beaming at him and pressing tender kisses to his lips and cheek, "More than anything."

"I love you too." The younger man whispered, "So, so much."

Dean smiled and the two kissed deeply and passionately, Castiel giggling as they stood and went to get ready to go out. As Dean suggested a second round of sex before they went out, Castiel smacked his arm and told him to wait until they got back.

What a life they had.

-TBC-

* * *

**Hope you enjoy this stupidly late chapter and pwease forgive meh! **

**Thanks for the support so far!  
**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**


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